When 'what is' isn't what you want

“Challenges reveal our blind spots, the places where we are yet bound by our personality traits and habitual thoughts of lack, limitation and so on…Being alive means welcoming the next challenge because you have discovered how this activates the evolutionary impulse to establish a higher vision for your life.” Michael Bernard Beckwith

Reading those words this morning about challenges led me to question my ‘not enoughness’ around money. Where am I yet bound by personality and habitual thoughts of lack? How do I benefit from holding onto money as a challenge? If challenges do activate the higher vision for my life & encourage me to evolve—then how is my challenge around money serving me?

Do you remember those blow up ‘boppy’ toys from childhood? They had a heavy bottom & you could punch it, it would tip over & then bop right back up. I got one for my daughter so that she could hit that instead of her brother. That image sprang to mind---THAT is how I have been unconsciously dealing with my programs around money. Overcoming, feeling better, back in my face…overcoming, feeling better, back in my face….. Another question—“How does that serve me?” The belief was that by doing that, I was safe from other ‘challenges’ that would be more scary. At least THIS challenge I knew—I understood it—I had the tools to play with it---it was a ‘known’ & felt comfortable (to my child’s mind). That is the thought process/survival strategy of a child, which I was still unconsciously running.

This is not a matter of ‘true’ or ‘not true’—this is one of those ‘what is’. I received the information with gratitude. Clarity! By asking better questions, I received better answers—answers that I could do something with. Answers that I can turn into Commands.

So I sat with ‘what is’ and asked ‘what do I want instead?’ I got a nice list of what I wanted instead of the punching the boppy toy. And with May being Choosing month, I focused my commands on Choosing:

I don’t know how I choose:
-to be friends with money
-a good relationship with money
-to be happy with money
-to have money
-to love money & to allow money to love me right back
-to be partners with money
-to play with money
-to thoroughly enjoy my life with money

Bonnie