Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Better questions give better answers

Wanting to dig a little deeper into how you expect to the world to show up for you? Tony Robbins says to get better answers, you need to ask better questions.

In The One Command we tell you to ask “What do I want instead?” That is probably the best question you will ever ask yourself. And if you are curious about why “what is” is not what you want—you can ask yourself more questions. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and your self-awareness will deepen & expand.

I invite you to spend some time asking yourself these questions. Be sure you take the time to receive the answer! You might just be wonderfully surprised.

You will notice that not one question asks Why? Asking why will only give you the ‘story’ about why you do or do not have what you want. Better questions do not look for the story or the reasons. They do not excuse, blame, criticize or judge. Better questions look for the answer. Once you have the answer, you already have a great tool for creating new outcomes. Use this month’s TOC Challenge!

1. Where am I yet bound by personality and habitual thoughts of lack?
2. How does holding onto (______) serve me?
What’s the benefit of keeping it?
3. What am I afraid will happen if I let it go?
4. What is standing between me and what I want?
5. How do I expect the world (people) to show up for me in ________?
6. Where do I have the ‘brakes’ on in my life?
7. What opportunity is here that I am not grasping?
8. What good is here that I’m not seeing?
9. What gift within me is seeking to emerge?

What do you choose instead?

Have FUN with this and report to the group what you have learned about yourself.


When 'what is' isn't what you want

“Challenges reveal our blind spots, the places where we are yet bound by our personality traits and habitual thoughts of lack, limitation and so on…Being alive means welcoming the next challenge because you have discovered how this activates the evolutionary impulse to establish a higher vision for your life.” Michael Bernard Beckwith

Reading those words this morning about challenges led me to question my ‘not enoughness’ around money. Where am I yet bound by personality and habitual thoughts of lack? How do I benefit from holding onto money as a challenge? If challenges do activate the higher vision for my life & encourage me to evolve—then how is my challenge around money serving me?

Do you remember those blow up ‘boppy’ toys from childhood? They had a heavy bottom & you could punch it, it would tip over & then bop right back up. I got one for my daughter so that she could hit that instead of her brother. That image sprang to mind---THAT is how I have been unconsciously dealing with my programs around money. Overcoming, feeling better, back in my face…overcoming, feeling better, back in my face….. Another question—“How does that serve me?” The belief was that by doing that, I was safe from other ‘challenges’ that would be more scary. At least THIS challenge I knew—I understood it—I had the tools to play with it---it was a ‘known’ & felt comfortable (to my child’s mind). That is the thought process/survival strategy of a child, which I was still unconsciously running.

This is not a matter of ‘true’ or ‘not true’—this is one of those ‘what is’. I received the information with gratitude. Clarity! By asking better questions, I received better answers—answers that I could do something with. Answers that I can turn into Commands.

So I sat with ‘what is’ and asked ‘what do I want instead?’ I got a nice list of what I wanted instead of the punching the boppy toy. And with May being Choosing month, I focused my commands on Choosing:

I don’t know how I choose:
-to be friends with money
-a good relationship with money
-to be happy with money
-to have money
-to love money & to allow money to love me right back
-to be partners with money
-to play with money
-to thoroughly enjoy my life with money